Dear Amy: My daughter is going on a team sports trip next month.
There are seven girls going without parents (my daughter is one of them). These girls will be rooming in two hotel rooms.
Two of the seven girls are lesbians. How should the team handle the rooming situation?
One of the lesbian girls is in a long-term relationship and is also a friend of my daughter?s.
My daughter is not worried about sharing a room with her.
But my daughter calls the other girl ?sketchy? (her opinion). My daughter would definitely not be comfortable sharing a bed with her.
Some of the other girls and probably most of the parents are unaware of the sexual orientation of the players.
The ages of the players on the team run from 13 to 19 years old.
The sexual orientation of any one of the players is not an issue except for this situation, especially considering the age differences.
What would you and your readers recommend?
SPORTS MOM
Dear Mom: As you note, a player?s sexual orientation isn?t an issue otherwise ? and it shouldn?t be an issue here, either.
Your unspoken assumption plays into a predator stereotype that simply isn?t true.
The most important fact that these girls should be aware of is that ANY sexual activity involving team members must be prohibited.
Sexual activity between an older and younger teen would also be illegal (in my home state, sex between a 19- and 13-year-old is also a felony).
All participants should be educated about what is and is not permitted ? and this includes sexual behavior of coaches, other adults traveling with the team and fellow team members.
If your daughter has any reason at all to suspect there is a specific problem, she should take it to you and her coach.
You should also take your questions/concerns to the coach in advance of the trip.
If your daughter doesn?t want to share a bed with another player, she can call the front desk and ask for a cot to be sent to the room; these are usually available for a small fee.
Dear Amy: Counseling isn?t helping me too much, so I?d like to hear from your peanut gallery.
I love my partner of 13 years, but something changed a few years ago: I am not physically attracted to him anymore. It?s not about his being unattractive ? I just realized that kissing him was like kissing a brother.
We are compatible in many ways, but my reluctance to be physical with him is getting worse. I tell myself to ?change my thinking,? but my heart is not in it.
We are not married, and he is my best friend. I just don?t know what to do. I think I need to make the break, but the thought just kills me.
I?d like to hear what you and readers think.
TORN
Dear Torn: You present this as an attraction problem, but you don?t mention your own mojo.
The two of you may be able to revive your attraction.
If he wants to have an intimate relationship with you he should be given the opportunity to work on it along with you.
My two cents is that it might help for you to step away from this relationship ? temporarily ? to get a handle on what you really want and what you want to do.
Dear Amy: I side with readers who protest your blanket condemnation of pornography.
I enjoy a glass of wine but have never been drunk. I have gone to the casino but don?t have a gambling problem. This and many other things are OK in moderation.
I have lived all over the world and could write a book on the different standards of pornography in every country.
I would not like to offend a nice lady like you by describing what is displayed at a Swedish gas station, while in Mexico, Playboy is too raw for the newsstand.
TOM
Dear Tom: I have a problem with pornography when it objectifies people and when viewing it creates a problem in real-world relationships.
Otherwise, while in a Swedish gas station, do as the Swedes do (presumably this involves putting fuel in one?s car).
askamy@tribune.com
gabrielle giffords austin rivers austin rivers ows kindle fire review community matt schaub
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.